Rise With Me
by sanctuaries
Summary: "Being selfish doesn't mean that you don't care about the people around you. To be selfish means that you want to stay alive because you think that there is something for you to do in this life, that you can't accept the circumstances you're in without losing all your hope and power." Jean & Mikasa have a talk about lost loved ones and the future. R


_**Note:**_ This is a JeanxMikasa one-shot and I hope you like it. Its the first time I have ever written a one-shot so I wasn't too sure about the pace; but hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I do! R&R

_**Disclaimer:**_ All characters are created and owned by Isayama Hajime, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Shingeki No Kyojin.

* * *

_**Rise with me**_

'_He was my best friend_ 'Jean thought as he sat in front of the dining hall and caved meaningless words into the muddy ground with a wooden stick. '_He was my best friend and I wasn't with him, I didn't even have the opportunity to protect him once. What am I doing here ..._' his hand slowly formed to a fist and it seemed as if he couldn't move his gaze away from it, as if he'd slowly drown in the darkness that mesmerized his heart.  
It's been over a month since he found Marco, and he was unable to say his name since. He felt that he didn't have the right to speak of him as if he'd known him, because friends would have been there for each other. Friends would have protected each other's backs.  
While he sat alone in front of the hall, the pure life seemed to take place inside of it. It was probably Eren who held the crowd well by inciting not to lose hope, to keep fighting for what he believed in. He wanted them to believe in his visions as if it were their own. But for Jean it all appeared to be just so pointless. With having lost everything, what would it remain in the end? What would be worth to fight for, now that he felt more distant to everyone than ever?

"I'm really a selfish asshole after all." Jean laughed half-heartedly into his palm. "At the end of the day I only think of myself again."

"Being selfish doesn't mean that you do not care about the people around you. To be selfish means that you want to stay alive because you think that there is something for you to do in this life, that you can't accept the circumstances you're in without losing all your hope and power."  
Jean's eyes directed to the rear, he recognized the voice of these, to be honest quite appropriate, words which were spoken softly in his direction. But it was the last person whom he would have expected to stand behind him.

"Mikasa ..." he whispered. Embarrassment made his cheeks blush and his face feel hot, as it always did when he was in Mikasa's near. She stood behind him, her view addressed towards the stars as if she were looking at them in vain, and something gave Jean the feeling that at this moment, she felt exactly like him. Maybe not for the same reasons, no, certainly not for the same reasons, but Mikasa always had her own way. That much he sure knew of her.  
She had something about her that he could not explain, something that insured him that behind her mysterious and almost apathetic mask was someone who was worthy to be explored and loved; someone who had experienced far worse than him and managed to be the one to reassure him and to start each day with all the power she's got.

"Don't you think that Marco would have wanted you to live on with all the happiness you always brought to your comrades?" Said Mikasa and sat down beside him, her knees bent, her scarf pulled deep into her face.

"What's with the cheesy talk? Are you really Mikasa?" Jean chuckled.  
"I don't think he thought of much when he died. I think if something went through his head at that moment, then it wasn't loneliness or surrender. Marco was always the one who has seen the good in people. He was the one you could entrust your dirtiest secrets to, that kind of person that wouldn't even get angry with you when he would listen to you badmouthing him. That fool would probably have blamed himself." Jean smirked, and despair sought him home once again. He put his face in his hands and even though he sat next to Mikasa, he didn't feel intimidated or was ashamed to show his emotions. He sat there and felt understood.  
"I lost my family twice. "Mikasa murmured, her eyes still directed to the sky.  
"The first time I have lost all strength to live too, I didn't even have the chance to think about tomorrow. I was ready to die at any given minute. I didn't even put up a fight because I thought I'd know that I couldn't win.

But life isn't always how we imagine or wish that it should be, and we have to fight for it so that it's worth to experience the next day. We must fight until we die, for our lives and those of others. You are proud of Marco, right? Ensure that the life he has given for us wasn't wasted. Ensure that we can sit here tomorrow and think about the next day, and the day afterwards. Make sure that he didn't die in vain."  
Jean sat still for a moment until he realized that Mikasa was right. He _was_ proud of Marco. He was proud that he could sit on these steps and worried about what might happen next. It was clear that he had no control over what would await him and the others, but he was sure that Marco would have been proud to sit here with him. If Marco would have known that he brought Jean and Mikasa to sit next to each other and have a serious talk, my goodness, he would surely have picked on him forever. And with that thought being imagined, Jean let out a carefree laughter.  
Mikasa's gaze directed to Jean, her mouth slightly open as if she was to say something. But instead she just watched Jean laugh; she watched Jean breathe new life right in.  
"I don't know whom to thank more. You or Marco. "He laughed, and his laughter enlivened the whole atmosphere. Mikasa didn't try to cheer him up by talking nonsense about how lucky they are to life in this world or that he must concentrate on other things. Mikasa has given him a bit about herself and she didn't hide the truth about their situation, she was blunt and yet gentle. She had her own technique to make him happy, but if she knew that, that would remain a mystery.

"Hey, Mikasa," Jean said with a serious tone to it, his gaze still directed to the stars, although he felt Mikasa's look burn into his skin.

"If we go, we go together, okay? Don't leave me alone with this, rise with me together. If we were ever to go and see the people we've lost and loved, lets' go together. I would like to introduce you to someone very important to me. "  
She took his hand and that was more confirmation than he ever think he needed.


End file.
